Thursday, September 8, 2011

Try and Try again

So over the last 6 months I feel like I have been running in circles and falling on my face continually.  Many of you who are close to me know how hard I've worked to get back into a healthy lifestyle and to lose this weight and you've seen me fail over and over again.  In the beginning I thought it would be easy to lose my weight after all I have lost 80 pounds before right?  Wrong!  This post is dedicated to reflecting over the last 6 months and how I've tried to lose weight.

After Ava was born I was under the assumption that nursing her would help me lose weight.... come to find out this is far from the truth, many of my friends decided to share with me that it wasn't until after they quit nursing that they lost any weight.  And nursing a baby also messes with your emotions, hormones, and energy level... hence I was tired, frustrated, and exhausted.

Shortly after I had Ava, Nate bought me a treadmill for home (my favorite purchase EVER!)  It's so nice, and it has ifit live on it.  ifit live is a program that adjusts the treadmill's incline and speed for you so you choose a workout program and it does the rest.  At 6 weeks postpartum I chose an 8 week run/walk program that was a huge challenge for me.  I stuck to it and did it 5 times a week.  About 6 weeks later I did feel better but..... nope no weight loss or size loss (afterall it's not really that important what the scales say if you like what you look like)...  

Sooo... in light of the workouts not working I started back into my classes at the gym.  To be honest they didn't work very well because it's hard for me to pack up Ava and head to the gym for an hour and come back.  And if you haven't caught the underlying theme... I'm exhausted most of the time...  So there's another failed attempt and another time of being disappointed in myself.

When I headed back to work I decided that maybe running  a half marathon would help me lose weight.  We are currently in training and it's the hardest thing I'm doing right now.  The lack of energy  makes it hard to head out an run, but I've stuck to my program pretty closely.  I've skipped a few long runs but I've been running 3-4 times a week.  That's been going on for about 6 weeks and no change in my body, or my energy level and every run is still total torture...

Exercise isn't the only thing I've tried.  I also have turned my diet around.  You get so used to eating junk when you are pregnant and then use nursing as an excuse after that.  However I have tried to eat well and yes... I do slip up quite often, but it's very discouraging to try so hard and not be successful at all.

Well that's a summary of the last six months.  I feel like I have tried and tried and continually fail and here I am the same size and same weight as I was 2 weeks after I brought Ava home and lost my water weight.  No, it's not all just about losing weight to lose weight, I really want to have my energy back, to be a healthy example for my baby girl and to feel like I can make it through a day without needing to take a 3 hour nap...

So.  I've made a new commitment and I'm trying something new... keep coming back to find out what's next and to join me on my journey back to health

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